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From: jayne@mmalt.guild.org (Jayne Kulikauskas)
Newsgroups: soc.religion.christian
Subject: Re: post
Message-ID: <Apr.10.05.33.02.1993.14402@athos.rutgers.edu>
Date: 10 Apr 93 09:33:03 GMT
Sender: hedrick@athos.rutgers.edu
Organization: Kulikauskas home
Lines: 30
Approved: christian@aramis.rutgers.edu

jono@mac-ak-24.rtsg.mot.com (Jon Ogden) writes:

> My advice is this:  If you know someone that you have the hots for who is
> NOT a Christian, befriend them and try to develop just a friendship with
> them.  At the same time, witness and share the gospel with them, not so
> that you can date them, but so that they can be saved.  Once they become a
> Christian, then it is quite possible to let the relationship progress
> beyond friendship.  However, if they don't accept Christ, you still have a
> good friendship and you haven't wasted a lot of emotional energy and gotten
> hurt.

While I agree with most of Jon says (I deleted those parts, of course), I 
have serious reservations about this advice.  Maintaining a `just 
friends' level of relationship is much easier said than done.  People 
usually end up getting hurt.  This is especially likely to happen when 
they start off with feelings of attraction.  

When people feel attracted those feelings can cloud their judgement.  
I've had the experience of going quickly from believing that I shouldn't 
date non-Christians to believing that dating this man would be okay to 
believing that premarital sex is fine when people really love each 
other.  When the relationship ended my beliefs immediately returned to 
their original state.  

This is an especially extreme case because I was young and away from home 
and fellowship.  I don't think it would work exactly this way for most 
people.  However, it's important not to underestimate the power of 
feelings of attraction.  

Jayne Kulikauskas/ jayne@mmalt.guild.org
